Review – Bingo, Young Vic

Picture this. The Whingers at the Young Vic, seated between two fat ladies (88), forcing them to squeeze their legs (11) tightly together before getting their eyes down for Bingo.

Partick Stewart stars; what else could it be but a full house?

Review – The Recruiting Officer, Donmar Warehouse

60 years on the throne. Andrew is laying odds that the Queen will still be around to get that telegram off to Phil should he hang on a few more years. But what does the Jubilee really mean to the Whingers?

Royal cupcakes? Cliff, Elton and Shirley on a traffic island in the Mall? Huge anticipation that Princess Beatrice might turn up in a new hat? The Whingers’ preferred Jubilee line is that it’s an excuse (should we need one) for a few tinctures.

But before we unravel our bunting there is a coronation to celebrate. King Michael (Grandage) has abdicated after his ten-year reign – topically eschewing male primogeniture – leaving theatrically-minded eyes agog to see how comfortably the jewel-laden Donmar crown balances on the head on his successor Queen Josie (O’Rourke).

Review – Outward Bound, Finborough Theatre

Can’t say much about Outward Bound really without giving things away. Marvel at the uncharacteristically tight Whinger lips here although it is only a slight variation on their signature pursed configuration.

Can say that one shouldn’t be misled by the title: it is not about aiming to foster personal growth and social skills using challenging expeditions in the outdoors. Can say it doesn’t involve canoeing, abseiling or hillwalking. Can say it’s not set in Wales and that it is a great relief to say there is not a backpack or damp chunky knit sock in sight. And before the lawyers write in, yes, ® Outward Bound is a registered trade mark of The Outward Bound Trust 

Review – Singin’ in the Rain, Palace Theatre

One tampers with Singin’ in the Rain at one’s peril.

On achieving a certain maturity most sensible people (and the Whingers) come to accept that it is arguably the greatest movie musical ever made. So this theatrical version – like any other – sploshes down on the stage of the Palace Theatre from Chichester with an awful lot of soggy baggage.

And strangely enough it was a piece of baggage (a small valise to be specific) that proved the turning point in the Whingers’ evening.

Review – Master Class, Vaudeville Theatre

If the Whingers were writing nine word reviews (dream on) then an overheard from a precise elderly gentleman at the interval of Master Class might suffice; “She was a bit of a diva wasn’t she?” Quite.

The Whingers found no challenge camouflaging themselves amongst the throng of gentlemen d’un certain âge cramming this Broadway transfer at the Vaudeville Theatre where further eavesdropping supplied wistful reminisces like “Well, I saw Sutherland, but I never saw Callas.”

Yet even if we superficially blended into this expensively fragrant crowd (Andrew sporting a cravat, Phil’s pashmina insouciantly thrown over his shoulder), cheap aftershave the only giveaway to our lack of class and money, the Whingers just aren’t the sort of chaps who do opera. Like Maria Callas it’s all Greek to us. Our loss no doubt. If Terrence McNally‘s hugely enjoyable entertainment (director Stephen Wadsworth) doesn’t convert us little will.

Review – She Stoops to Conquer, National Theatre

Another Whingers’ first; one which left Andrew to reflect on genetic instruction.

You may recall that Phil’s sister Elizabeth was once reduced to contributing to this site, penning a review of the 8 hour Oberammergau Passion Play so that we need never trouble ourselves with it.

Anyway, the poor woman undertook her inaugural Whingers’ trip last night, forced to accompany the Whingers because she’d read She Stoops to Conquer at school, really liked it and so was – relatively speaking – an expert.

Not only an expert, but one who could sit still for eight hours. Andrew tried to imagine Phil sitting still that long, or reading a text or liking anything and concluded that they could not possibly share the same DNA.

On the other hand there was clearly a bond at work for both Liz and Phil were equally thrilled that Katherine Kelly was making her National Theatre début. Who? As they impatiently explained to Andrew, Ms Kelly was until only last week the hugely popular Becky McDonald in the “serial drama” Coronation Street. Apparently one of the best characters of recent years, she left the cobbles, not looking over her shoulder in the back of a Street Cars cab, but whisked off to Barbados by a new love, conveniently freeing her up just in time for to begin Stooping at the National.

Review – Noises Off, The Old Vic

“If we can just get through the play once tonight – for doors and sardines. That’s what it’s all about, doors and sardines. Getting on, getting off. Getting the sardines on, getting the sardines off. That’s farce. That’s – that’s the theatre. That’s life.” 

Continuing our January mopping up of the theatrical spills we’ve somehow previously missed…

Review – The House of Bernarda Alba, Almeida Theatre

“I wanted to rewind the first couple of minutes and see them again,” Andrew whined at the end of The House of Bernarda Alba. Not for the first time Phil wished Andrew would pay more attention to things.

But on this occasion, to be fair, THOBA does open with something of an unexpected coup de théâtre - a promising start indeed. Not only did it introduce the clever conceit that Bijan Sheibani‘s production has adopted but it grabbed the Whingers’ limited attentions instantly making them wonder if this brilliantly timed stunt was the work of theatrical illusionist Paul Kieve.

Review – Travelling Light, National Theatre

“Who knew the invention of cinematic grammar could be this dull?” pondered Andrew at the interval of Travelling Light. Indeed, one could almost leave things there and move on. But of course that wouldn’t be very Whingerish would it?

With a big canvas and a big subject the usually very reliable Nicholas Wright sensibly focuses on one aspect of the big screen by telling the tale through the eyes of one of the many Eastern European Jewish émigrés who played such a huge part in the development of motion pictures.

Review – The Lion in Winter, Theatre Royal Haymarket

Well, of course our New Year resolution  to never again visit the theatre bogged down with preconceptions or expectations didn’t last long. Less than 24 hours in fact.

Resolving not to go to things with expectations was a bit daft really. Critics claim to approach things with open minds but it’s easier to do that when the reviews aren’t out which is why we often try and see previews. But for most audiences it’s different; what punter could possibly go to Jerusalem or One Man, Two Guvnors or Matilda without wondering if it will live up to its promises?

On New Year’s day the resolution went straight out of the window with a visit to the pictures to see the highly praised The Artist.  Fortunately we were not at all disappointed and yes the dog(s) really is (are) as good as you’ve heard. Strangely the film begins in 1927, which is also the name of the theatre company behind The Animals and Children Took to the Streets which led to us striking such a daffy resolve.

Still, one resolution remains: Andrew has promised himself a dry January yet again, which will make life very dull for Phil who has no truck with such matters. So in our traditional January-catch-up-of-things-we’ve-missed we took in The Lion in Winter in a state of complete sobriety. And having already broken our resolve we were able to approach it with some assumptions, not because of the critics you understand (whose reviews, if we’re being polite, were mixed) but because it had come highly recommended by people whose opinions we trust.

Review – The Animals and Children Took to the Streets, National Theatre

New Year resolutions are meant to be broken aren’t they?

The Whingers emerged from The Animals and Children Took to the Streets resolving never go to the theatre with preconceptions or expectations again. Mmm, how long do you think that’s going to last?

To say we weren’t expecting much is a mild understatement. But then Phil had no expectations anyway. He ran into someone he knew on the way to the theatre who asked what he was going to see. “No idea” he replied breezily.

Perhaps that’s the way to approach theatre so it can’t hurt you. But on paper 1927 theatre company‘s TAaCTttS doesn’t sound that enticing. A show in the Cottesloe auditorium set in an urban dystopia which with remarkable prescience anticipated the summer riots in this country (it was first performed at the Sydney Opera House in October 2010)?

The 2011 Whingie Awards – the very worst and the not so bad

Yes, the Whingers’ much coveted trophies are lined up to be divvied out again.

Artistic excellence? Possibly. Realistically most of of our glittering awards would go north of the border after our uncharacteristically enthusiastic response to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, an unusual period where we packed in so much entertainment we feared we were turning into Mark Shenton.

But after momentary deliberation and decidedly tepid debate we have eventually settled on some worthy winners.

Review – The Importance of Being Earnest – A New Musical, Riverside Studios

Yes, it sounds so wrong in oh so many ways doesn’t it?

The Importance of Being Earnest as a musical? But then again (and we know we really should have tried harder) the Whingers’ curiosity wasn’t even piqued enough by Ann Widdecombe’s panto debut to drag them to Dartford this season. But Gyles Brandreth giving his Lady Bracknell? This proved a USP big enough to brave the trek to Hammersmith’s Riverside Studios.

Dragged-up Lady Bs are of course nothing new. Brian Bedford has recently delivered one on Broadway, Geoffrey Rush is giving his down under. Heavens, Phil saw the brilliant Hinge and Bracket as Miss Prism and Lady B respectively at the then Whitehall Theatre. Mind you, it was execrable.

And this could so easily have turned out to go the same way but remarkably it is in fact really rather good.

Review – Fascinating Aïda: Cheap Flights, Charing Cross Theatre

Really very little we can to add to the unqualified rave we gave to the version of Fascinating Aïda‘s Cheap Flights which we caught in Edinburgh and is now boarding for a brief season at the Charing Cross Theatre.

We may not be able to add much but the satirical singing cabaret trio have. Current line-up Dillie Keane, Adèle Anderson and relative newbie Sarah-Louise Young have worked up an extended version of that show which now comes with extra tunes, an interval but no excess baggage.

Review – Haunted Child, Royal Court

The Royal Court have missed a trick with their marketing for Joe Penhall‘s Haunted Child. Given the tepid reviews the marquee outside should simply scream “See Ben Daniels drink a whole bucket of salt water live on stage!”

Well that’s what he appears to do. You see him fill the bucket from the sink, pour “salt” into it, drink the lot, then rush (disappointingly) off stage to vomit leaving only his bare feet visible as he retches. Yes, there are rather a lot of unclad feet on display here too.

But you have to feel for Ben Daniels (and it’s the only moment you do) having to perform the stunt. It’s a big ask of any performer. Calling it beyond the “pail” would only provide another disappointing gag.