Six dance lessons for seven brothers?

Wednesday 8 November 2006

Claire Bloom (right)-bless her beautiful hide

WEW are nothing if not observant.

Now we all know theatre programmes are printed in advance, hang around for months without being updated and advertisements in them are often out of date. But WEW have noted that ads for Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at the Theatre Royal Haymarket claim “season extended-now booking until Feb 07”.Since Six Dance Lessons In Six Weeks begins on November 23rd 06 is it going to be a little crowded on the Haymarket stage?

WEW wonder what these claims producers make really mean?

“Season extended”: We didn’t really have much confidence in the production so we opened for a limited period.

“Limited season must end Saturday!”: The show has bombed – we’re playing to half empty houses.

“Good seats available midweek”: We’re claiming it’s a smash but we’ve still got plenty of seats to shift.

“New seats released daily”: We sold the crap seats yesterday.

“Good seats available at all performances”: We’ve closed the Upper Circle and are moving people to the stalls.

“Apply daily for returns”: People who’ve booked aren’t showing up – they’ve read the reviews.

“Air-cooled theatre”: It’s not as good as air-con…they’ll be dying in the upper circle.

“Limited availablity”: The star can’t manage 8 shows a week..(Elena Roger, Lesley Garrett, Captain Von Trapp?)

“Must end soon prior to UK tour”: People in the provinces will go to any old shit.

“Restricted view”: Oh sorry, that’s one WEW would like to see more often – Wicked box office please take note.

Why extend a season and close early? WEW need to know.

So Billy Zane and Claire Bloom’s six dance steps may involve constructing a barn with a distinct whiff of gingham? WEW are moist at the prospect.

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