Yes the Whingers know that the Orange British Academy Film Awards isn’t exactly theatre, but it did take place at The Royal Opera House (perhaps the only sensible decision of the evening) in the heart of London’s glittering West End.
Unfortunately glitter was thin on the ground. Looking at the audience – which seemed to represent some of the best of Britain’s Theatre talent rather than Hollywood A-listers – the whingers wondered if they hadn’t tuned into the Olivier Awards by mistake.
Nominated no shows included: Leonardo DiCaprio, Meryl Streep, Alan Arkin, Jack Nicholson and Jennifer Hudson. You bet they’ll show up for the Oscars. In fact, of the four main acting awards only two turned up to receive them. Poor show.
But not as bad as the normally capable Jonathan Ross who struggled to inject any humour into the evening. His poorly scripted jokes fell on stony ground. And was Jamie Bell speaking in tongues with that hilariously bizarre accent? Even worse was presenter Damian Lewis whose attempts to crack gags had the whingers curling their toes and watching through their fingers.
The only real laughs in the dreary affair came from Ricky Gervais, whose references to Stephen Fry’s (the host for the previous 6 ceremonies) absence were funny because they were uncomfortably true. Never has Fry been so missed.
And why was The Best Film winner (The Queen) not also the winner of the Alexander Korda Outstanding British Film, which was awarded to The Last King of Scotland? The two films were nominated in both categories. Strange.
It was a very long dull evening. The whingers comforted themselves that like the cream of Hollywood, they had eschewed attending in person and watched from the comfort of their Parker Knolls.