To : Andrew
From : Phil
Date : 24 February 2007
Subject : Misery
Thank you for your recent memo. Don’t despair. Help is on the way.
Those kindly people at The Times newspaper have made us an offer we can’t refuse. Today’s edition has an offer: four top tickets for The Lord of the Rings at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane for just £99 (usually £50 each during previews – £60 each after the opening). Offer valid for previews May 22 to June 16, excluding May 27, 28, and June 3, 8, 10 and 14. Maybe we can sell the two extra tickets to some of our “friends” for £50 each. They’ll never know.
Just call 0870 162 0299 and quote ‘The Times Preview Offer’.
Of course there’s a booking fee of £1.50 per ticket and additional seats (to your four) can be bought for £32.50. But this whinger believes this is a very good offer. So Andrew, just relax into your stalls seat and let the whinging commence.