The first ever West End Whingers Prize Crossword

Saturday 12 July 2008

It all started when Andrew and Phil were idly filling in time waiting for some production or other (possibly Daddy Cool) to finish so that they could go to the pub.

They were reduced to reading the bits you don’t normally read in the programme (i.e. everything apart from who’s been in Midsomer Murders) and found a crossword in the back. They can even still remember the first clue:

“Oh, what a lovely -” (3)

[By the way, do they still have those crosswords in programmes? We wouldn’t be surprised if not. It always seemed like a rather brazen admission that one might be in search of alternative entertainment while trapped in a theatre auditorium; a bit like those colouring books they give out to children on long distance train journeys.]

Anyway, the Whingers found themselves inspired and have been working feverishly ever since on their crossword during moments when they had nothing better to do (we got loads done during Fram) and here – a mere 18 months later – is the result of their exertions: a proper crossword with cryptic clues and everything!

So next time you are going to the theatre, take our advice: print off this PDF and take it with you – just in case the show turns out to be a bit on the dull side.

What’s more – there’s a prize for the first correct entry. We’re not sure what it is yet but it may be one of the much sought-after West End Whingers Snow Globes:

Or something of equal value.

Or possibly a night out with the West End Whingers themselves (worth considerably less).

It depends on whether we like the sound of you or not.

Anyway, to enter: either print off and fill in the PDF, then scan it. Or just write down the answers. Either way, send the results to


8/28    A great actress, but somehow I end much jaded.
( 4,4,5 )
9    Harold has a beer in front of the queen. ( 6 )
10    Tangled toga suggests an alternative to Sylvia. ( 4 )
11    On reflection, part of the effectiveness of a choreographer. ( 5 )
12    Get role by knocking back gin, for example. ( 4 )
13/16    Halo poisoned with strychnine for artistic director.
( 8,6 )
18    Dreary drama. Andrew forlorn. Ends… with this? ( 4 )
20    Queues formed lacking energy to see play. ( 5 )
21    Furthermore, Salome dances without me. ( 4 )
22    Farce doubles up high flyer. ( 6 )
23    Playwright found in one’s top. Pardon! ( 8 )
26    Bad time for Caesar – dies horribly! ( 4 )
28    See 8
30    Arse not shown, but artistes titillated – with these? ( 4 )
31    Did 39 steps! Need tea and bun to get over it. ( 6 )
32    Not all liberal arts become cheesy things. ( 8 )

1    Erratic CIA job for Derek. ( 6 )
2    Corrupt play. ( 4 )
3    Take Homer out and revise rule of thumb for quantity of ice cream. ( 6 )
4    Here the orchestras are terrible. ( 4 )
5    Monologues bearing fruit to the audience. ( 8 )
6    Pans awful 1974 VD comedy with Maggie Smith and Barrie Ingham. Me too! ( 4 )
7    Asks how it went. Pants! But not any more? ( 8 )
14    Miss Saigon and end up here? ( 5 )
15    Drunk, left in USSR and is audibly affected by the vodka, say. ( 5 )
17    Estragon or Vladimir, say, found in vehicle at Phil’s opening. ( 5 )
19    Duo groan distractedly at production’s endurance.
( 1,4,3 )
20    Need a gin cocktail in Swiss town. ( 8 )
24    Love the audibly Hart-less Rodgers? Not us. ( 6 )
25    Are OTT, mad, and go round in circles. ( 6 )

27    A London theatre’s hopeless so with Othello closes. ( 4 )
29    Inhabitant of Senor Alba’s and of a much smaller house.
( 4 )
30    Actor Stephens intermittently took note, yes. ( 4 )

2 Responses to “The first ever West End Whingers Prize Crossword”

  1. Simone Says:

    Ah this is a great idea you guys! I am always in need of an amusement usually before a performance starts and I always forget bringing a book, this should be a really good alternative.

  2. Is the Engadine a Swiss town? I thought it was a whole valley thing.

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