Review – The Holy Rosenbergs, National Theatre

Your favourite son is being buried tomorrow. Do you:

a) Spend the evening worrying about the day to come

b) Spend the evening with your family reflecting on your loss / celebrating his life

c) Invite someone round for dinner to discuss a catering contract

Some members of your community deeply resent your involvement in an investigation into war crimes on both sides of the Arab/Israeli conflict and are threatening to demonstrate at your brother’s funeral tomorrow. It’s late at night. How would you make sure they knew you had resigned from the Enquiry and so get the demonstration cancelled:

a) Get the people who know who they are to contact them directly

b) It’s impossible; I have been painted into a corner, plot-wise

c) Put something on the Enquiry’s website; they are bound to read it

You are a doctor and prescribe a prescription to help a mother deal with the stress of the upcoming funeral of her son. The daughter (whom you resent) needs to pick up the prescription. Do you…

a) Tell her to run

b) Tell her to get a cab

c) Hand her the keys to your Jag without a moment’s hesitation

Which of these axe-related works do you most admire?

a) Strait-Jacket

b) Mommie Dearest

c) The Cherry Orchard

Which of these foodstuffs could be featured in a play without making half the audience think of Acorn Antiques?

a) Potato latkes

b) Chicken soup

c) Macaroons

Which form of staging would most suit your play?

a) A nice, traditional proscenium arch

b) A nice, traditional proscenium arch

c) In the round

You have unwanted body hair. Which would you go for?

a) Sugaring

b) A Brazilian

c) A Gaza Strip

Which celebrated designer are you least likely to spot in the audience?

a) Ralph Lauren

b) Calvin Klein

c) John Galliano

Which of these plays would you quite like to have written?

a) Jerusalem

b) The Merchant of Venice

c) All My Sons

HOW DID YOU DO?

If you said Mostly Cs you are playwright Ryan Craig. If you didn’t, you’re almost certainly not.

Rating