Picture this. The Whingers at the Young Vic, seated between two fat ladies (88), forcing them to squeeze their legs (11) tightly together before getting their eyes down for Bingo.
Partick Stewart stars; what else could it be but a full house?
Edward Bond‘s play (full title Bingo: Scenes of Death and Money) comes to us from the Chichester Festival Theatre which is currently enjoying as many transfers as a restless footballer. Though sadly, for us, the play turns out to have nothing to do with the game of chance so beloved of working class women of popular imagination and Victoria Wood sketches. Would that it had been.
Mr Stewart plays an ageing Shakespeare (although on the evidence of Act 1 it could be anyone) who has signed a contract to protect his rented land on condition that he won’t interfere with land enclosures which will shaft the local peasants.
And if the opening scene where a seemingly defeated Shakespeare is in a state (28) as he struggles with his conscience over this decision sounds dull to you, believe us it is. Listening to someone describe a delayed journey into work stuck on the Brighton line (59) would surely prove more electrifying.
To perk this tedium up and to add dramatic tension an old man clips a hedge affecting an accent and look which put Andrew in mind of Bayleaf the gardener from The Herbs before getting up to tricks (46) with a dirty Gertie (30) behind this neatly clipped bush. The peasants are getting shafted all over the place.
It’s all so dreary that the Whingers were grasping at straws to get them through to the interval. They admired the bark strewn on the YV’s stage pitying the stagehands who have to clean the floor (54) the use of a garden gate (8) on the steps (39) of one of the aisles, were astonished when Shakespeare revealed that his property didn’t have a thatch and perked considerably when Stewart called out “House!” thinking the play was going to spin on it’s head and suddenly live up to the title.*
The one saving grace (68) (SPOILER ALERT) was the body of the beggar woman who has been executed for arson and having droopy drawers (44) positioned on a gibbet high above the back of the stage in scene 3 (cup of tea). So convincing is the dummy, we assumed it was the actress exercising an extraordinary feat of breath control. It was impossible to concentrate on anything else and was a most welcome distraction from the humourless plodding of the play.
So what do we conclude from what we saw of Bingo? That Mr Bond is a bit PC (49) and is airing his strop that Shakespeare was a bit of a shit, more interested in number one (Kelly’s eye) and his old age pension (65) than the welfare of others despite being widely considered a keen chronicler of the human condition? Impossible to care.
And anyway, we have no way of knowing: the Whingers were asked to leave their front row seats at the interval (“for the set change”) and despite being halfway there (45) took no persuading to get up and run (31). The clickety click (66) of their heels could be heard on The Cut as they hoofed it back to their respective housey-houseys.
We were certainly not alone. It may have been a full house for Act 1, but we could only feel that for those who stayed it would be unlucky for some (13).
Footnote
* Well, not entirely unrelated to the game apparently. If you’re wondering about the title (we were) Bond once explained the title in an interview, “Art has very practical consequences. Most ‘cultural appreciation’ ignores this and is no more relevant than a game of ‘Bingo’ and less honest.” Indeed.
Rating
A West End Whinger 
Wednesday 22 February 2012 at 10:51 am
Does the gardener say “ooh ahh me back, ‘t is ‘urtin’ somethin’ cruel, young fellow-me-lion”? I’d pay to see that. Not sure I’d pay to see the rest of it though.
Wednesday 22 February 2012 at 12:17 pm
Can I claim to have tweeted the ‘Full House’ gag first? At 8.37pm on 16th Feb.
Wednesday 22 February 2012 at 1:02 pm
You missed a good scene at the start of Act II, with Shakespeare drinking with Ben Jonson, and some nice snowfall stagecraft*. But I have to admit I was left a bit cold by the whole thing.
(* “Make it snow” etc etc)
Wednesday 22 February 2012 at 2:56 pm
It’s not fair that that was the only good scene.
Thursday 23 February 2012 at 12:04 pm
My experience was also heightened when the second stage revolve started, and my companion started humming the Supermatch Game theme from Blankety-Blank.
Wednesday 22 February 2012 at 2:55 pm
I only stuck out this dog (and Bingo was it’s name-o) because I had gone with a friend. Would that I had gone with you instead.
Wednesday 22 February 2012 at 5:03 pm
Saw the play in Manchester many years ago, in my very serious youth. Despite my determination to appreciate its depths, I agree with Boz and Webcowgirl that the scene with Ben Jonson is the only interesting bit. The political comment in the rest is about as subtle as the Blitz, but then that’s Edward Bond all over. Along with Howard Barker, he’s absurdly over-rated, for some reason.
Thursday 23 February 2012 at 9:23 am
Hee hee. It was pretty dire. The second half was better than the first but by then the bar was set pretty low…
Thursday 23 February 2012 at 5:07 pm
And there’s always Stewart’s voice….
Thursday 23 February 2012 at 6:25 pm
This is just a vanity production for Patrick Stewart. He played the Shakespeare role for the RSC many years ago, reprised it more recently at Chichester, and now at the Young Vic. There aren’t that many parts for bald actors.
As for Edward Bond’s script, it is politically-warped and historically rubbish.
Monday 27 February 2012 at 5:59 pm
Love that the non broadsheet press (the websites, the ones free from ire of a national playwright legend) are all saying this was boring. This totally explains the play and how dull it was, well done!
Monday 27 February 2012 at 9:11 pm
I saw this at Chichester. It was awful apart from the Ben Jonson scene after the interval. Incidentally, on the night I went there was a Q&A with the cast/director. Someone asked if it was a dummy on the gibbet, and (at least for the Chichester run) apparently it really was the actress up there. Also – and I love this story – someone asked why on earth it was called Bingo… The director said it was because the ultra-radical Royal Court always put the name of the play up in lights outside, and Edward Bond thought it would be amusing to see ‘Royal Court Theatre – Tonight – BINGO’ up in lights in Sloane Square.
Friday 2 March 2012 at 10:29 am
How odd – for once I disagree with the Whingers. I thought the first half was marvellous, though the accents were all over the place and the diction suspect. Patrick Stewart has presence, but it is debatable how good an actor he is. His Shakespeare was excessively dour. The second half meanders, but I find Bond’s language rather gripping. The design and lighting were excellent.
Wednesday 7 March 2012 at 12:57 pm
What a clever review.