Review – Complicit with Richard Dreyfuss and an earpiece, Old Vic

What a shambles. What a complete and utter shambles. And how entertaining.

Hang on, scrub that last sentence. Complicit wasn’t in the least bit entertaining.

The only entertaining aspect to the evening was the discreet yet mesmerising, scandalous earpiece which Richard Dreyfuss was sporting because – so rumour has it – he does not know all of his lines.

Hard to believe? You can read about it here, here and here and a million other places.

Indeed, according to one source (who, of course, can not be named) a highlight of at least one early preview was the sound of David Suchet loudly calling “prompt” on Dreyfuss’ behalf which – as our Deep Throat conjectured – surely can’t have done much for dressing room bonhomie.

But the West End Whingers are proud to report that they can now reveal that there is in fact a wholly legitimate reason for Dreyfuss’ inability to remember his lines.

Push-A-Playwright

Push-A-Playwright is the new craze that’s sweeping the nation.

It’s a game which was devised by the West End Whingers quite some time ago but we haven’t got around to playing it yet.

It’s a bit like happy-slapping except that it’s funny.

Nancy notes

Yes, well, the Whingers were a bit sniffy about the search for a Joseph. In fact we ignored it altogether. Who cares who plays Joseph? And apparently there was another show where they cast the leads for a West End production of Grease. Who knew?

Review – Speed-the-Plow with Jeff Goldblum and Kevin Spacey, Old Vic, London

To mark Shrove Tuesday Andrew turned up at the Old Vic wearing his pancake concealer; Phil, as always, was the tosser.

There was a real buzz in the packed auditorium last night and for once not because Andrew’s hearing-aid was on the blink. In fact the buzz was so loud that the Whingers couldn’t hear the Old Vic seats creaking and for a moment they thought that Mr Spacey had finally made time to go round with the can of 2-in-1 oil that the Whingers sent him for Christmas (or meant to send him; we’re not sure now).

Anyway, yes, buzz. Or in the Whingers’ case, mild fretting. The director of Speed-the-Plow is none other than Mr Matthew Warchus and – this being a preview – the Whingers were slightly worried that they might again get told off for writing.

Buzz and fretting gave way to “mild peril” (as the movie posters have it these days) when the house manager appeared onto the stage to announce that the already tardy curtain would be even tardier. Had one of the Hollywood stars – Jeff Goldblum or Kevin Spacey – thrown a hissy fit backstage?

The West End Whingers’ Christmas Card List

Yes, of course the Whingers have a Christmas Card list: it contains the names of people expected to send us Christmas Cards and woe betide those who don’t.

We were thinking about publishing it, but it’s very, very long.

Anyway, we were delighted to receive this unexpected Christmas card apparently from Mark Shenton, Nicholas Hytner, Kevin Spacey and Michael Billington. Turn up the sound on your computer and click on the photo to see it in all its animated glory.

Unfortunately the Whingers are unable to send any Christmas Cards due to laziness, poverty, meanness and general absence of Christmas spirit.

But we wish all our readers a Merry Christmas nonetheless.

Review – All About My Mother, The Old Vic, London

Poor Mr Spacey. We’ve given that man some shtick in the past. The last time the West End Whingers dropped by the Old Vic to see some tripe or other (was it The Entertainer?; we’re sure it wasn’t as long ago as Resurrection Blues) we found ourselves wholly preoccupied with trying to make mental notes to remember to get him some lubricant for Christmas so that he can oil the horribly creaky (we remember now – it was Gaslight!) seats in the Old Vic.