Review – Terrible Advice, Menier Chocolate Factory

Dear Whingers,

I’ve never written to agony aunts before.

I’m a middle-aged woman who recently became single when I found out my best friend had slept with my boyfriend. I want to go and see something funny at the theatre to cheer myself up. I’m very broad-minded. Indeed, I’ve been around the block a few times but alas not in my car which currently has a flat tyre.

I’m coming to London (by coach) soon, are there any plays running that might make me laugh and also teach me how to change a wheel?

Yours

Aunt Edna Welthorpe-Trellis, North Wales
(name and address supplied)

In Which The Whingers Reveal Doctor Who’s New Look…

After months of speculation, this weekend saw the unexpected announcement that Matt Smith is to take over from the David (back injury) Tennant* as the new Doctor Who.

Andrew (who famously doesn’t do telly) cares about such matters. But, despite being sure that Mr Smith will no doubt prove an excellent choice, the Whingers’ own casting department had been barking up all the wrong trees.

Review – Fat Pig, Trafalgar Studios

Some things are clearly not meant to be.

The Whingers were fully expecting to be able to review their own West End stage debuts in Fat Pig.

Having missed out on making their Broadway debuts in both Xanadu and the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee they leapt at the chance to secure on-stage seating at the new Neil LaBute play at the Trafalgar Studios.

Andrew had got himself into a right old tizzy of excitement. He had spent weeks planning his “performance”, trying to pin down the nuances of his character (sadly elusive) and, most importantly, deciding what he should wear to draw most attention to himself. He eschewed Phil’s offer of his favourite fashion item of the moment: a Sarah Jessica Parker style fascinator, instead settling for his old favourite “Ignore Me. I’m Just Reviewing Your Performance” t-shirt.

But their plans were cruelly dashed.

Review – The Five Wives of Maurice Pinder

Andrew’s a sucker for triangles. Or to be exact Triangle – the fabulously misconceived soap opera set on board a North Sea ferry from the olden days of when Andrew would condescend to dip his grimy toe into the choppy waters of TV.

So when he spotted that Triangle‘s Larry Lamb (whose National Theatre CV mentions only recent telly – thus precluding Triangle – is he ashamed of it?) was to star at the National Theatre in Matt Charman’s new play The Five Wives of Maurice Pinder, Phil was left with no alternative but to accompany him.

And do you know what? It turned out to be one of the Whingers’ most enjoyable evenings out for a long while.

They were in and out of the Cottesloe in a record 45 minutes.

It’s true that the play rumbled on for a further 1 hour and 55 minutes without them, but the Whingers were by this time frolicking in the fountains outside the Royal Festival Hall beneath a lovely summer evening sky and drinking cheap red wine.

Review – Elling at the Trafalgar Studios

A play about an under-achieving duo. What could the Whingers possibly have in common with these characters?

Bad Girls The Musical! Exclusive Pictures

Phil, being that much better connected (to the mains if Andrew had his way) than Andrew, was invited to the launch of Bad Girls The Musical! at the Garrick Theatre this morning.

And the winner is…

Our competition inviting suggestions for the ideal people to play Bette Davis and Joan Crawford produced some interesting results.

Fans have been indulging in frantic activity on their (sadly imaginary) casting couches and coming up with everyone from Gillian Anderson to Bea Arthur (OK, that’s not a very good example because they both begin with “A”) to… Tony Curtis (Damn, only begins with “C”. Oh well, you get the point).

Anyway, today being Friday 13th, we are proud to reveal the judgement of no-less-an-expert than Mr Shaun Considine himself, author of Bette & Joan: The Divine Feud who has generously donated a signed (by him, not by the Whingers) US hardback copy as a prize.

Scenes we never thought we’d see…

A queue of people this morning outside the home of the hits: the Shaftesbury Theatre. Whatever next?

Dr Who does Shakespeare

One of the few rebukes never hurled at the Whingers is that they should get out more. In fact one of Andrew’s New Year resolutions was to stay in more, so last night he settled down for a rare hour in front of the new-fangled television device which magically pipes crap into your home.

Daniel Radcliffe and Dame Diana Rigg

Mildly off-topic, but just in case you haven’t seen the famous scene between Daniel Radcliffe (currently appearing in Equus) and Dame Diana Rigg from the second series of Ricky Gervais’ Extras, here it is…

Review – The Rose Tattoo at the National Theatre

The Rose Tattoo at the National Theatre features Zoë Wanamaker CBE and a goat so it’s no surprise that the West End Whingers were to be found squished eagerly into the second row of the Olivier stalls for the penultimate preview.

The up-and-coming Mr Williams is on a roll in London at the moment. The current productions of The Glass Menagerie and Lovely and Misfit have both provided the Whingers with enjoyable evenings out. And this one featured a goat. This show would be a dead cert.

Dead something.

Billie Piper off the Treats again?

The Whingers can always be relied upon to be at the centre of a storm.

But stumbling out of John Gabriel Borkman at the Donmar a few hours ago they decided to celebrate with a drink at a boite near the Garrick Theatre. Coinciding with the finishing time of Christopher Hampton’s Treats, supposedly starring Billie Piper, it was not long before a flurry of photographers were capturing an unknown (to the Whingers) young gal on the street outside their drinking hole.

Review – The BAFTA Film Awards

Yes the Whingers know that the Orange British Academy Film Awards isn’t exactly theatre, but it did take place at The Royal Opera House (perhaps the only sensible decision of the evening) in the heart of London’s glittering West End.

Unfortunately glitter was thin on the ground. Looking at the audience – which seemed to represent some of the best of Britain’s Theatre talent rather than Hollywood A-listers – the whingers wondered if they hadn’t tuned into the Olivier Awards by mistake.

You don’t solve a problem like Maria this way, that’s for sure

Well, that was a promising show for two weeks. Who wants to keep watching now shop-girl-naif Briony Price has gone? I can’t tell the remaining Marias apart, with the exception of the rather arrogant one whose name escapes me.

ALW asked Briony if she thought that at 16 she was old enough to be a West End star? Well, Mr LW it’s only a week ago that you were ranting on about how Maria was always played by actresses too old to play the “girl” that Maria clearly is. You’re asking the wrong question: it’s not whether she’s the right age for a West End star; it’s whether she’s the right age to be Maria.

Of course, Briony had to go; she’s the delightful underdog who would have charmed BBC viewers into putting her through every week. Too high a risk for someone who’s going to have to do eight (sorry, six. see previous post) shows a week.

To be honest, I don’t care who gets it now. The ten that are left are just not interesting. I hope Brioney gets her own show. I’d pay good money to see her in The King’s Head; not so sure about paying to see any of the others in SOM.