Review – The Children’s Hour, Comedy Theatre

Keira Knightley in (k)nightl(e)y, hot lesbian drama! Well, that’s pushing it a bit but you can understand why this revival of The Children’s Hour might be expected to attract a non-core West End audience.

Indeed, it’s strange to think that in a quasi-parallel universe there may, even now, be a queue at the Harold Comedy Theatre in which two similarly shabby but redder-blooded Whingers are even now standing in dirty macs (and anyway where did that convention come from? Surely not Columbo or Harold Wilson?), queuing shiftily to buy a ticket from the box office with their hats pushed down on their heads and their scarves pulled up around their ears, anxiously hoping not to be spotted by their wives or their colleagues.

Review – The Little Dog Laughed, Garrick Theatre

What a queer year it’s already turning out to be. This is only the third theatrical sortie for the Whingers and it’s the third in which gay matters form a significant part of the plot. Homosexuality is going to be to 2010 what on-stage-vomiting was to 2008 and on-stage-limping was to 2009. With nudity running a close second.

It seems there’s no danger of the Whingers’ patented Gay-O-Meter rusting in one of Andrew’s neglected crannies. He’ll be swishing his Mr Muscle with gay abandon and rubbing like there’s no tomorrow to keep it in sparkling condition, which is a little gay in itself. Phil has entreated Andrew to get extra batteries to ensure uninterrupted running. Three out of the four characters in Douglas Carter Beane‘s Broadway comedy The Little Dog Laughed at the Garrick Theatre are gay, pinging the Gay-o-Meter needle to an impressive 75% on the dial. It was twitching as soon as the tickets tumbled through the letter box.

Review – The Misanthrope with Keira Knightley, Comedy Theatre

“Why are we doing this?” grumped Andrew, plaintively.

“Who is she?” he continued, wailing.

Phil explained patiently: “She was in those pirate films, Bend it Like Beckham and that fim you saw with James McAvoy in a vest.”

Well, James McAvoy always gets to wear a vest in every film so that didn’t narrow it down and Andrew wasn’t convinced that this “Keira Knightley” was someone he needed to see.

But it seems the rest of the world does. People are flocking to the Comedy Theatre in droves. Let’s face it, they weren’t there because of their need to see The Misanthrope or their love of Molière.