Review – Master Class, Vaudeville Theatre

If the Whingers were writing nine word reviews (dream on) then an overheard from a precise elderly gentleman at the interval of Master Class might suffice; “She was a bit of a diva wasn’t she?” Quite.

The Whingers found no challenge camouflaging themselves amongst the throng of gentlemen d’un certain âge cramming this Broadway transfer at the Vaudeville Theatre where further eavesdropping supplied wistful reminisces like “Well, I saw Sutherland, but I never saw Callas.”

Yet even if we superficially blended into this expensively fragrant crowd (Andrew sporting a cravat, Phil’s pashmina insouciantly thrown over his shoulder), cheap aftershave the only giveaway to our lack of class and money, the Whingers just aren’t the sort of chaps who do opera. Like Maria Callas it’s all Greek to us. Our loss no doubt. If Terrence McNally‘s hugely enjoyable entertainment (director Stephen Wadsworth) doesn’t convert us little will.

Review – The Duchess of Malfi, Punchdrunk/ENO

“It’s just more of the same, really,” lamented Andrew, finally able to relax a bit and gather his thoughts now that the Whingers and party had located the hidden bar.

“It’s less of the same,” retorted Kat, pithily, which is exactly what the Whingers would have said had they thought of it.

Indeed. The Duchess of Malfi feels like Punchdrunk spread somewhat thin, despite the addition of an orchestra. The venue feels larger (three stories of an unoccupied office in Gallions Reach, Beckton) but there seem to be  fewer actors and less going on.

Mind you, this time they’ve really upped their game when it comes to the futility involved in being an audience member.

Review – Candide, ENO at the Coliseum

“Dear ENO. The West End Whingers would love to see Candide but their policy of paying to see West End shows has reduced them almost to penury and an ENO ticket might well push them over the edge. As both are adamant that they never want to shop at Lidl, they are reduced to begging for two excellent press seats. Andrew has two cats to support and Phil has a very expensive Night Nurse habit.”

Yes, it’s pathetic, but that’s the credit crunch for you. And with stalls seats at £83.00, what can you do?

Fortunately the ENO came up trumps and offered the Whingers FREE seats – “on this occasion”.

Unfortunately the reviews came out the very next day:

• “Loud, brash, heavy-handed and leaving little to the imagination” Evening Standard
• “What a load of camp old cobblers” The Times

Too late. The trap had snapped shut.