Review – Three Days in the Country, National Theatre

The play formerly known as a A Month in the Country by Turgenev now arrives dragged up as Three Days in the Country by Patrick Albert Crispin Marber which teasingly suggests it might be about a tenth the length of the original version.

Sadly it’s not of course. Though this pared down version does come in at a mere 2 hours 15 minutes which is one of the more positive things Phil has to say about it. But that’s slightly more than he can say about Mr Turgid-enough’s original which he saw over 20 years ago and suffered substantial ennui even though it featured the rather starry line up of Helen Mirren, John Hurt and Joseph Fiennes.

Review – Shakespeare in Love, Noel Coward Theatre

What’s Shakespeare in Love about then?

Well, it’s about 3 hours.

We’ve probably used that ‘gag’ before, but since the West End is hooked on recycling movies and musical back catalogues we feel moved to join in with some gentle regurgitation too.

SIL, should you not know, was a popular and reasonably entertaining film that inexplicably went on to win 7 Academy Awards (you remember, Dame Judi won the Best Supporting Actress statuette for her 8 minutes of screen time as Queen E 1) and is delivered extravagantly to the Noel Coward in both production values and running time. The only brevity here comes in the form of a ceruse-faced Anna Carteret who drifts around oozing regality in the Dame J role in similarly and frustratingly brief appearances.

Jerusalem – The Musical!?

The Whingers hear lots of idle tittle tattle but they rarely bother to write about it either for complex legal reasons or more often through laziness. For the price of a drink they will usually end up passing on such titbits by oral means to anyone who will listen with the pre-amble “We didn’t tell you this but..”.

However some news is just too darn extraordinary not to broadcast and our extremely reliable showbiz mole (no, not Baz B.) has furnished us with something of an exclusive – just remember that you heard it here first.

Apparently producer Sonia Friedman, buoyed up by the successes of Legally Blonde and Jerusalem, is planning to stage a musical version of Jez Butterworth‘s multi-award-winning smash-hit play.

Jerusalem Opening Night Party

Yes, we know what you’re thinking.

What are you two doing hob-nobbing like this? Are the Whingers selling out? But before you click onto other sites let us modestly remind you that we were the ones who hailed Jerusalem and Mark Rylance’s performance before the “legit” critics jumped onto the Whingers’ rickety old band wagon (it is well known that they slavishly follow the Whingers’ opinions and have no capacity for independent thought apart from Michael Billington who thinks Jerusalem and Really Old Like Forty Five are both four star experiences which just goes to show the perils of independent thought).

Anyway, we went.

The Critics’ Circle Theatre Awards 2009

Well, the fire door had been carelessly left open so like model citizens we went in and pulled it firmly shut behind us and then it turned out we were in the Price of Wales Theatre and there was free drink and Rachel Weisz and Jude Law were and so we thought, what the hell, and stayed for The Critics’ Circle Theatre Awards 2009.

Of course, it’s pretty much the definition of “yesterday’s news”* (well, you try filing a blog post when they’ve been topping up your wine glass not stop for for three hours and to be fair Andrew was tweeting it live) and so you know that Weisz and Law were among the winners. We sort of guessed that when we saw them there.

Review – Legally Blonde Gala Night, Savoy Theatre

Yes we know. We are getting more insufferably grand by the day. And that grandness is tugging at the already fraying hems of the very fabric of the Whingers’ existence. That fabric being, of course, a fine Gentleman’s Harris Tweed and very old Bri-Nylon* in Phil’s and Andrew’s cases respectively.

But when Producer Sonia Friedman absolutely insisted that it just wouldn’t be a proper opening gala without the Whingers lending their presence at Legally Blonde, refusing might appear petty and churlish and make them appear even grander than they already believed themselves to be. What indeed were the boys expected to do?

In which Andrew receives bad news

Producer Sonia Friedman spoke to Official London Theatre at the No Man’s Land opening night party held at Mint Leaf, when she revealed that it was her ambition to produce as many of Pinter’s plays as possible.