A mouthy little bird (who shall remain nameless) has told us something rather disturbing.
Perhaps The Whingers shouldn’t really be surprised. But the producers of the wonderful Chicago are allegedly in discussion with Amy Winehouse to take over one of the lead roles. Now Phil, who previously had little interest in Miss Winehouse has come round to the star since her triumphant win in the vegetable sculpture class at the Lambeth Country Show last year.
Roxie or Velma? The Whinger’s Chicago mole can’t be certain and – as barmy as it sounds – didn’t we all think the same when we heard Graham Norton was taking over the lead role in La Cage Aux Folles? And look at Chicago‘s track record. Alison Moyet, Denise van Outen, Brooke Shields, David Hasselhoff, ahem, Kelly Osborne and perhaps most bizarrely Jerry Springer taking over in a lead role on June 5th. Even Martina Navratilova auditioned for the show when she emerged from her jungle stint in I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!. Not to mention Melanie Griffith or George Hamilton in the Broadway production to name but a few.
It really isn’t beyond the realms of possibility when you look at it like that is it? But of course it puts the Whingers on the horns of a dilemma. Having not see the show for over 10 years they were already thinking of going to see it again when they heard Mr Springer was coming into the show. But Amy Winehouse?
Lovely Amy, Phil at least thought, is probably too huge at the moment to need to go into a West End run, but we assume it’s for a strictly limited run. Will she cope with 8 shows a week? Even many seasoned stage musical performers seem unable to these days.
Fans of Miss Winehouse, who are probably more used to standing in a mosh pit than a seat in the dress, will no doubt be banging on the doors of the Cambridge Theatre.
One thing’s for certain it will be a massive sell-out. Aren’t those Chicago producers clever? If they do indeed pull off this coup it will inject huge interest in the show. Phil’s now persuading Andrew to put aside his Ethel Merman vinyl collection and enlisting him on a crash course in the world of Amy Winehouse.
One other thing that’s been troubling the Whingers, how will Amy’s towering beehive cope with Roxie/Velma’s “Hot Honey Rag” finale cartwheel? Is there enough hairspray in the world to hold it in place? The Whingers will be holding what little breath they have left. But as bonkers as all this may seem the uncanny parallels between Amy’s life and Chicago storyline show real nous on the part of the producers. Think about it, won’t the audience be watching Amy very closely to see if she makes it through “Cell Block Tango” without falling to bits thinking about hubby Blake Fielder-Civil?
Let’s face it, nothing will keep the Whingers away from the Cambridge Theatre’s stalls. Look out for Andrew armed with his trusty peeler and a sack of potatoes sculping from life. Expect his Lambeth Country show creation to be even more lifelike this year.