The 2011 Whingie Awards – the very worst and the not so bad

Yes, the Whingers’ much coveted trophies are lined up to be divvied out again.

Artistic excellence? Possibly. Realistically most of of our glittering awards would go north of the border after our uncharacteristically enthusiastic response to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, an unusual period where we packed in so much entertainment we feared we were turning into Mark Shenton.

But after momentary deliberation and decidedly tepid debate we have eventually settled on some worthy winners.

The Whingers Awards 2010 – the very worst and the not so bad

It’s that time of year again when one tries to justify the humongous expense of theatre-going by trying to seize on a few happy memories in the desperate hope that they justify the outlay.

Yes, it’s the Whingies 2010.

The Whingers Awards 2009 – the very worst and the not so bad

With another year rapidly drawing to a close it is time for the Whingers to reflect and indulge themselves in a little more navel gazing – not our own navels, as that would be even duller than usual for you – but the innies and outies of the sometimes fluffy navels of London’s artistic directors, producers, players and theatres and award The Whingies to the most outstanding ones.

But first our own navels: 2009 has been a year of heady excitement for the Whingers. It was a year that saw them inadvertently whip up controversy and heated debate again and again and again.

It was also a year in which artistic differences reared their ugly heads threatening the very fabric of the West End Whingers, a tear in the polyester bed-sheet of their existence so delicate that a clumsily clipped toenail might have been all it took to rent it from headboard to toe straight down the middle.

The Whingers were courted by the British Broadcasting Company, libelled as “muckrakers” in the National Press, lampooned in song and Phil had his pithiest aphorism to date quoted (yet mainly without attribution) by national critics. There was an evening of confusion in which Phil was mistaken for Michael Grandage and the Whingers finally received an award for their artistic endeavours.

And we finally got the opportunity to choose between the Merlot and the Marlowe.

So, without further do, here are the results of the Kentish Town and Vauxhall juries:

Review of the Year 2008 – the worst and the less so

Well, it’s turning out to be a rotten transition from 2008 to 2009: Earth Kitt dies; no invitation to Harold Pinter’s funeral is received* and the Whingers are overlooked yet again in the Queen’s New Year Honours List.

But the Whingers aren’t bitter (no more so than usual, anyway) and have made good use of their bonus “leap second” (yes the world is slowing on its axis even as the Whingers are on their own respective axes) to reflect on their theatrical highlights and lowlights of 2008.

So throw away your Nytol for the Whingers are about to save you significant sums on expensive sleeping aids by revealing yet another tedious, somnolent round up of the best and worst of the year or – as the Whingers are accustomed to thinking of things – the worst and the least worst. Yes, it’s time to hand out some more Whingies.